Notebook

Fragments, essays and field notes

  • Throwing the book

    Throwing the book

    I started this blog to support my efforts to get writing. It was a week before England’s second lockdown began. Like a lot of people, I believed I had a book in me. And I thought the pandemic would provide the room to write it.

    I’ve done a lot of things during the pandemic. I got into the habit of long midnight walks. I worked out, and then I stopped working out. I got into Pokémon cards, podcasts, audiobooks and crypto (I keep saying I’ve “got into” things, which I find interesting). I watched the Adam Curtis documentary series Can’t Get You Out of My Head, countless episodes of Friends, and the third series of Succession. I’ve been hooked to social media.

    I also moved from one newspaper to another. I reunited with friends between lockdowns. I’ve felt happy and ordinary between the dark moments.

    I’ve done a lot of things during the pandemic, yes, but not much writing.

    A new idea for a novel came to me a couple of months ago. Let’s call it a ghost story. Late last year, I learnt of a new competition for first-time novelists. I planned to write thousands of words a day to meet the competition’s deadline in April. My present word count? 1,300. Every sentence is a room but I can’t always find the key to the next one.

    I could have added more words tonight. Instead, I watched the first episode of Euphoria with some microwaved popcorn and went on a walk in the rain while listening to Foreverland, a book about marriage by Heather Havrilesky. And then I wrote this.

  • Hidden  in London

    Hidden in London

    To Charing Cross, where my friend and I are due to meet for a tour of the Tube station’s disused tunnels with Hidden London. Not wanting to be late, I arrive 45 minutes early and pass the time in the Waterstones at Trafalgar Square. The air outside is cold; I can see my breath.

    A tunnel beneath Trafalgar Square

    I took my first Hidden London tour in October 2016: the lost tunnels of London Euston. My girlfriend and I took in the station’s historical information imparted by the brilliant guides, the vintage advertising posters and, of course, the marvellous tunnels and ventilation shafts.

    I was hooked. I’ve since toured Aldwych and Down Street, with a ride on the Mail Rail at the Postal Museum thrown in for some variety, and now Charing Cross.

    When I get weary of the noise, the order and the restrictions placed on the surface of the city, I long to return to these tunnels.

    A vintage Tube train at Aldwych
    Overlooking a Tube platform at London Euston
    Equipment stored in a tunnel at Euston
  • Shortchanged

    Shortchanged

    I wonder if, years from now, we’ll look back at this time and marvel at how strange it was – the masks and the social distancing, the working from home, the going on furlough or losing your job, the fear of the outside, of what could happen, because nothing like this had ever happened. The isolation, the loneliness, the unimaginable loss. Or will our lives, years from now, be largely the same, so it won’t make sense to dwell on “how things were”? Many restrictions were removed in England on Monday July 19, so-called freedom day. But as cases remain high, it feels like nothing has changed at all.